Butch Swagger

When you suddenly catch a glimpse of your reflection, are you surprised, is the image you see in that first moment someone that you recognize?

Confidence, I, and I’m sure many will argue, is attractive, while arrogance is not. The key difference between the two is that arrogance is an exaggerated opinion that we hold about ourselves coupled with a need to have others view us the same way, and when they do not, we consider that a failing in who they are. In contrast, confident people have a sense of self that recognizes both their own strengths and their own imperfections; however, they do not let any shortcomings rule their lives. With such insight, self-worth does not require external validation, and without a focus on having to convince others of our worth, we are freed to replace the mirror with a window. This type of unfiltered attention that a confident person is able to give can be very attractive. It is much more appealing to be able to look into the eyes of someone sitting across from us when there isn’t the back of a mirror blocking our view.

So, is it just confidence that lies behind the infamous “Butch Swagger,” or is there something else at play? In an earlier post, I suggested that the bravado exhibited by some Butches is related to a need to appear self-assured as a defense against potential threats, not dissimilar to the choice we need to make to appear either smaller or larger in response to a circling predator. There is, of course, the possibility that something else not completely unrelated might be playing a role, and that is the physicality and persona that is often understood as being inherent in masculinity. While some would suggest that human anatomy, differences in pelvic structure, muscle mass, bone density, etc., are cause for setting how each of the sexes walks and moves, others favor that the differences are learned.

Across all cultures, there are societal norms that dictate the feminine and masculine ways for navigating how our body is to move, whether that be a walk that involves a slight sway of the hips or squared shoulders that are to mimic the strides that we take. Research has shown, for example, that women will often lower their heads when they pass men and try to minimize the space they take by keeping their arms close to their body and their legs crossed when sitting. Women will tend more to lean in during conversation, while men will hold their position.

One of the hardest memories I have as a child was my mother's very vocal disapproval of the way that I moved “just like a man,” as though this more than how I dressed, the sports that I chose, or even the girls that I kissed, was the greatest betrayal of my sex. Perhaps it's because everything else can be explained away, but for a female to own a space just as a male might do, leaves no doubt in the mind of the onlooker that there is a deviant among them. So maybe there’s a fourth explanation for the Butch Swagger; maybe it's just a way to tell anyone looking their way, “yes, you are right, I am here!”